I’m a big fan of the 80/20 rule for work, household projects, and even cleaning…
…but it does NOT work for parenting.
This New Year’s, I asked myself, “What would make the biggest difference for myself and the kids?”
I knew the answer right away: no more back-talk. They’d need to use the skills I’ve taught them (how to do what I say cheerfully or disagree in an appropriate way).
So, I told them I’d be consistent with corrections… and if we can make using these skills a habit, we’ll take a trip to Great Wolf Lodge in April.
My part of that bargain: be consistent with corrections AND consistent with praises, all the time.
See, I’ve realized that the 80/20 rule doesn’t work for parenting. If you’re only 80% consistent, your kids will walk all over you…
…and they’ll be angry when you do correct their behavior.
Of course, parents can’t be 100% consistent with corrections and praises (we’re human, after all). So I set MY goal as being 98% consistent with corrections – and with praises.
I won’t lie – it’s been exhausting (especially as a single mama). But 4 weeks in, I can see a difference. And at night, when I feel exhausted from correcting and praising 5 kids, I channel my inner marathon runner…
…this tired is a good tired.
I’m in the messy middle, but we’re improving. I close my eyes and picture them laughing at the water park – and the smoother days coming as we shift to healthy life skills they’ll carry into adulthood.
